If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
