20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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