why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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