Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The Olympian is in my bed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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