so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.