why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??