Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just invented taco cereal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Found your dick twin last night
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper