the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
