Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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