I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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