I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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