I wish I could teleport
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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