Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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