I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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