quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
