I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize