Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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