they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
