apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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