it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
