I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize