Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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