so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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