you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You are a genius and a whore.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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