Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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