Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
