dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
