More tranny stories later!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
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