I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
