I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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