I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize