so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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