I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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