Define "chronic" masturbator.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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