We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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