If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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