I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
did you just send me my own nude
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
