We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
vagina is talking i cant
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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