Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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