Its about making memories worth repressing
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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