If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
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I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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