Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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