1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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