Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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