well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
