omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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