Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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