I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
