She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
