I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
