I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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