When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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