Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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