plz talk dirty to me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
