1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
