not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize