i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
