what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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